Robert's Blog

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Midnight snacks

I was making a midnight snack (well I didn't make it, I opened a can of tinned pineapple) and it got me thinking back to those Enid Blyton books I use to read as a child. At one point I was really into her to the point where I wanted my parents to send me to boarding school because it sounded so golly fun!

Well anyway, as a kid I was always stumpted at why all these girls at boarding school would go on a midnight snack binge and one of them would bring along a tin of peaches. And to make things more interesting all the other girls would go 'Good golly Susie, smart thinking!', 'Goodness me, what a treat!' or some other incredibly gay and lame remark like that (oh I still remember them all, but damned if I can even remember to return my library books on time). I always wondered why anybody would be so stupid as to bring a tin of peaches to a midnight snack party, yet here I am 20 years later having my own midnight snacks of various tinned fruit. I know realise tinned peaches are great - cheap, don't go off quickly, healthyish...

Actually those midnight feast confused me for other reasons. It always baffled me how during the midnight feasts in Enid Blyton books they were always "Gracious! Sardine sandwiches! How super!" I can't think of anything more disgusting. And why eat healthy food when you're sneaking out of your dormitory to stuff your face at midnight?

Sadly that even half of my Enid moments lately. The other day I was reading a book, nothing grand but some characters goes out for a walk in the countryside with a brown paper bag with bread, water and some apples in them. Anyway, minor plot point, but my first thought was, that if it was an Enid Blyton book there would be some cheese, potted meat (and probably hard-boiled eggs) in that paper bag. But of course if it was an Enid Blyton book, someone would inevitably have to remark "Food tastes so much better in the open air!" cheerily just before they found a lame squirrel/badger/otter, tamed it and called it Scamper.

Of course it took me for years to figure out what potted meat even was. Sounded like something you'd have in the garden.

Plus it was always brothers and sisters going out for picnics or bike rides together like they where the best of friends. Frankly at that age I was more likely to fight, kick and pull the hair of my brother and sister then actually do something as incredibly lame as go on a picnic with them.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Monday Post-it

Reminder to self: wash clothes tomorrow, out of clean undies.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Rugby League and Me

Yes this is going to be a post about sports. Feel free to skip it.

It is final season and it has been difficult enough to follow the Rugby
League (which I will simply call football/footie simply because that is
what I first think of when somebody says 'football' - not Soccer,
Aussie Rules, American Football or Rugby Union), anyway it has been
difficult enough to follow it in Aussie Rules riddled Melbourne, but
even more difficult since I really don't care for any of the teams.

Yes as somebody that grew up with Rugby League in Queensland - a state
that lives and breathes the sport - I don't have a team. My hometown,
other then one imfamous politican is only known from the Rugby League
players it has produced, Allan Langer and the Walters brothers being
the most famous of them all.

Why don't I have a team? Basically two things happened at once - The Super League War
and my disgust with the entire débâcle and moving to Melbourne (which
as previously mentioned is as un-Rugby League as you could possibly get
in Australia).

My entire family are Broncos supporters. I mean for the the most part
they are pretty hard core, yet I cannot stand the smarmy bastards.
Which is a pity, since for the most part they where the only option I
had for a team in Queensland (well not counting the pathetic Gold Coast
team who'd consider a good year in one they finish second last on the
ladder - they where so bad they make the Rabbitohs look good).

For the most part in my childhood I was a complete bandwagoner and
follower with teams - basically anybody but the Broncos, I recall at
various points supporting Canberra, St. George and Manly-Warringah
(that last one I now find highly embarrassing).

In 1995 Queensland got two new teams which was good - since I could
finally support a Queensland team, my natural base of support - look at
all my other sporting teams I support:

Cricket: Queensland Bulls
Basketball: Brisbane Bullets
Soccer: Brisbane Strikers (now Queensland Roar - anyway Australian Soccer is beyond fucked)
Aussie Rules: Brisbane Lions.

Get the pattern? Now liking a bunch of Cockroach teams had more to do
with being simply anti-Broncos then liking any of them (and frankly
what Queenslander would lower themselves to such levels outside of
childhood that is).

Heck, when Brisbane won the Grand Final for the first time I did get some small smug satisfaction in that the team that most Sydneysiders treated as the red-headed bastard step-child of the League got one up on them. I epsecially hated alot of the crap that went along the lines of 'the Broncos ain't a real team/we invited them to join, we can kick them out anytime we want'.

No you couldn't. As much as I disliked the Broncos I have to admit the one thing they are good at is being a good player team as well as a cash cow. The Broncos make most of the Sydney teams look like poor cousins. It was complete and utter jealousy.

Anyway, Super League pretty much was killing my interest in the sport when I moved to Melbourne, which in turned opened my eyes to the delights of Aussie Rules (previously I'd pretty much took the sport as nothing but a bunch of
poofters jumping on each other in short-shorts). Yet even in Melbourne
I still supported the home team - the Brisbane Bears cum Lions.

Well basically with Super League finally fading into the background I
have gotten interested in Rugby League again, but of course I have the
issue of liking the sport by having nobody to follow.

Melbourne Storm would be the natural team but basically I cannot
support them because they are a Super League team (and not just that
but a team specifically created by the folks at Super League and not an
existing team that simply defected). Yes, 10 years later I am still
bitter and resentful and will not let go. Also proberly why I will not
touch such teams as the North Queensland Cowboys with a ten foot poll.

Yes I hated Super League, but that is not to say the ARL didn't have it
coming to them. After all Ken Arthurs was a little prick who viewed us
Queenslanders as nothing but stupid hicks. Frankly the one good thing
about Super League was wiping that annoying smirk off his face. Yes the
(then) face of Rugby League had way to many Sydney teams in it and it
was too bloated and was in good need of a trimming, but Super League
went about it all the wrong way. But what do I know, I am just a fan.
Or was a fan.

Of course when you have a war with Kerry Packer on one side and Rupert
Murdoch on the other it is the case of either way you loose.

The worst thing about Super League was all the players crying that they
where being screwed and not getting paid enough for their talents. Oh
god. Mel Meninga was the worse. The guy was the bloody worse. Yap yap
yap, whine whine whine. Somebody please pass me the worlds smallest
violin. Heck one of the reasons I disliked Super League from the get-go
was basically 'cause he was front row and center in its creation!

So basically teams like Storm, Broncos, Raiders, Cowboys, Warriors,
Bulldogs, Sharks and Panthers are out. Of course I may mention the last
three teams are just evil to begin with thus I wouldn't support them
anyway.

So who does that leave?

Manly-Warringah? Fat chance.
Parramatta? The chokers? I rather watch Jana Novotna in a final.
Rabbitohs? Loooooooooooosers. Plus Russell Crowe is like there number one fan. 'Nuff said.
St. George-Illawarra? Get back to me when the name doesn't take a week to say.

Newcastle? Bogan central.
Wests: They make Newcastle look intelligent.
Roosters: Now lets not get stupid.

Basically I am of the age where I know I have no interest of ever
supporting a Sydney team. In fact any cochroach team is pretty off
limits.

Lets not even get started on the new Gold Coast team they are
readmitting into the competition. I mean after the dubious history of
the last failed effort, I am suprised they are trying again. I mean
they must be sado-masochists or something.

Admitting a third Queensland team is needed, but putting it on the Gold
Coast really is going about it the complete wrong way. What we need is
a second Brisbane team. The Crushers died because of the Super League
war, if they where nutured properly they could've gone somewhere.

Well I just guess I'll have to get use to the fact I am a man without a team.

Friday, September 09, 2005

I weep for my generation.

Talking about the new "Battlestar Galatica" (Yes I am a fan, so sue me)
:p Somebody mentioned how they'd like it to end. And I snarkily
said:




I'd like them to see earth, and start picking up transmissions, Adama
asks Dee to play them over loudspeakers or screens or whatever and we
hear:

"US to boycott Moscow Olympics", "Reagan beats Carter", "...and the Oscar goes to "Kramer vs Kramer".





Nobody got it, not because of the source material it related to but
because they didn't remember when all those events took place (Well I
suppose both are mutally exclusive). I mean the first two you should
know. The third I will grant but one should at least get a clue by that
stage! Not knowing simply history.



The earth is doomed.

Snoozle en Snizzle

Chris: I look like such a goober in that shot
Robert: I don't know... snot tends to be slinkier
Chris: This is true
Chris: But that's "Booger"
Robert: goober, booger, boogie, it is all snot to me
Chris: No it snot
Chris: HAW!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Pinch and punch for first of month

Two dozen bottles of wine under my bed and nobody to drink it with.

I mean seriously somebody upstairs has a real evil sense of humour.