I need another martini.

I am not in a pleasant mood at all at the moment. I am so mad. I am steaming. It is 4.18 AM in the morning and I cannot sleep due to this pent up twisted anger that is in me.

I will not into details what it is (the rants and the vents need to be verbal, it doesn't work well when translated into text), but I discovered more or less I was seriously gipped, screwed over, fucked over, you name it, with something that occured in 2002. Now the reason I didn't realise it then because being the good-natured trusting person I accepted the circumstances at face value (and what people told me) and didn't investigate further. But today, almost by complete accident I discovered it was not the case.

Should I be so frustrated and angry at something that occured 15 months ago? It has to do with money, mainly money which I should of gotten for services rendered, but didn't.

Adam saw how pissed I was and God bless his soul, he made me an extra big martini for the little martinis on friday bash we where having. Still I would of needed alot of martinis to really dull the edge.

And sadly this day was going so well up to it. I had coffee with Frank (well he had coffee, I don't drink the vile stuff) and we swapped birthday presents (even though both our birthdays where well over a month ago). He have me the book "Wicked" and I gave him the "Adrian Mole Diaries" (one of my favorite books ever) plus a National Geographic from December 1978 (the month he was born in).

Plus I brought a couple of CDs today for the first time in so long. I got the new Bangles CD (It's my thing... deal with it... hee hee) and the original cast recording for "Into The Woods" (the Vanessa Williams version, not the Bernadette Peters version).

The Bangles new CD was a disapointment, but I am really enjoying "Into The Woods".

I am as mad as heck and somebody will darn well pay...

I went to my bank today to put some money in my account. Nothing special. You see I have a subscription to a glossy rather superficial entertainment magazine. Something I read on the bus, that doesn't waste to many brain cells.

Now I checked both at the online customer service page they have on their internet site as well as the little white box in the bottom right corner of the magazine. BOTH say my renewal wasn't until tomorrow, the 30th of January. So I went into the bank today to deposit the money for the renewal only to realise that the withdrew the money YESTERDAY. Bleeping Yesterday!!! Of course this sent my account into the red and I got slugged with an over-draft fine that was more then the magazine freaking subscription!!!

I am so mad, madder then heck.

I have to admit the bank teller was really sympathetic, saying nice stuff like it happens to the best of us, and he even gave me a complementary ice scraper with my bank logo on it. I have to begrudge the fact my bank is pretty much innocent (even though they did slug me with the overdraft fine). The bank teller even helped me fill out a over-draft protection form so I am saved from this in the future.

But still... as a famous Yellow Pages ad goes...

NOT HAPPY JAN!!!

I will be calling up the magazine customer service line tommorrow to express my disgust. I will be planning to scare several innocent Indians who are maning the customer service center in New Delhi. I also plan to use several four-letter words. The bad ones to boot.

I simply can not do it in Utah...

I have to return my iPAQ. The stupid freaking thing is having allignment problems. At least it has a warrenty. Though I wish my father wouldn't be so cheap and always get the one at the cheapest price, cause they tend to always be the dodgy ones. I know it was a birthday present and I shouldn't complain, but frankly at this stage I am willing to shell up the extra $20 just to get a new one from Staples or OfficeMax.

Last night was great. There are so many stories I wish I could tell, but my high standing in polite society means I cannot. I wish I drank more considering all the grog was free, but I just didn't feel like drinking. I really was a teetertoller mood. Damn me. Damn me to the worm at the bottom of the bottle.

People were constantly commenting how well I scrub up (in a tux), which I found incredibly annoying. I pride myself on my apperance for the most part. Yes, I have the days where I really just roll out of bed without changing my clothes, but 99% of the time, I make sure I am well dressed weather it be professionally or personally. I guess there where trying to make small talk.

I am not Bond, but I feel like him.

The tux fits like a dream. Damn. It was worthy every bloody penny (and it cost alot of pennys mind you). The cuffs and cuff links feel a bit odd, but otherwise I like it. Damn I felt like a million bucks in it. I wonder what Holly will be wearing tonight. I bet she will be as gorgeous as usual. If I don't end up drunk and hitting on her, the tux is going back to the shop! What is the point of spending all that bloody money if I don't get something in return? And Hols is bloody well worth it *evil grin*

I hate having a life

I hate having a life. I have not updated in a long time since my busy life is taking me away from the net. Heck the only reason I am able to update now is because I don't need to go to work until late (I have to get my final fitting for my Tux tomorrow at 2pm and thus don't need to go into work until after that is done - though one down side - real late night catching up).

Well the Ball in on Saturday, now in the wee hours of today, it is tomorrow. And going to get the fitting of the tux is now today.

I have eaten nothing in the past two days except for chinese food and candy. I need to get something slightly more healthy in my tummy soon. And I thought I was going to look so good for the ball.

Admittedly I feel like Cinderella going to the ball at the moment. I hope my own "Princess" Charming will be there.

Got my hair cut today again. I don't particular care for it, well I shouldn't say that, since it is what I got for the last several times and Missy just went right into it without asking. I should of mentioned I want it shorter then usual. I hate long hair. I consider one inch to be hippy.

My birthday was bloody excellent though. My parents got me a PDA. An iPAQ. Bloody thing isn't complete working for me though. I cannot get allignment working even though I make sure the stylis its the targets dead on in the allignment tests. Grrr... argh... I might have to return it to the manufactures and swap it. I don't really want to do it, but I might have to.

The birthday drinks where really good. I had a blast and the people that showed up. The coolest. I cannot believe Joel thought I was only 23. He deserves to die! I lived an entire year at 23, I don't want to be it again!!!

A funny scene happened today when Arlyn introduced his boyfriend at work. Everybody at first thought Chris was a Cougar. That would of been a sign of the apcolypse since Arlyn is such a huge Utes fan. He threatened to boycott Office Max since they had only Cougar calanders on display!

Busy day, busy life, busy in every which way

I love to be busy and work. Call me wierd, but I tend to be the happiest when I am slightly stressed out with a little to much work and my mind is focused. Of course stress helps one thing clearer (at least in its true sense... these days humans tend to manipulate the word alot to mean things that it isn't), thus thinking clearer helps one to remain focused.

Back in the days of the caveman, stress was a survival function. If for example, the caveman was jumped by a saber-tooth tiger, stress would kick in. It is fight or flight. Sudden split second thinking is needed. Thus stress shuts down non-essential drives (digestion, sex drive), increases blood flow and oxygen intake through the lungs, which in turn pumps more oxygen to the brain and helps you think better.

Physiologically, the hypothalamus gland responses to the attack by sending a signal to the pituitary gland. The pituitary gland then sends down to adrenal gland to pump the blood with adrenaline. Which set off the whole heart/lung shebang which I have already mentioned.

You know, I learnt this in my Physiology class at university many eons ago. I hated the subject, but I adored my professor Dr. Toop. She was an absolute gem to have as a professor and I wish I had more interest in that subject, but at the time my interest in the biological sciences had wained completely and I was only doing it for the credit points and cutting up the toads.

I don't remember anything else from this class except this (and oddly how the Tyroid Gland operates).

Bah Humbug. Theoretical Sciences are much better. Physics rules. I just hated the fact my University dropped the entire major before I could undertake it. If I was able to do it, I properly would be more into science today then more current passion/job.

But anyway, stress biologically only is a function used for one of two answers "fight or flight" (In this case I choose to fight the workload... tee hee hee). The way it has been manipulated in todays society (oh lordy me, my boyfriend forgot my birthday, I am stressed... that darn person stole my carpark, I am stressed) is really rather said and shows one of the pits that exist in modern society. People have taken a natural survival function and turned it into some type of chronic disease. Typical bloody humans.

But apart from that, I really did enjoy digging my teeth into todays workload. The entire project is coming along nicely. Plus todays tasks properly are the most repetitive I will have to worry about, thus I have all new exciting and wonderful non-repetitive things to look forward to.

Nothing stressful about that.

Celebrating the new year... three days late...

It is going to be difficult to refer to 2003 as 'last year' now. I guess I will have to get use to it (again - since this happens every year and I guess every year, every man and his dog mentions it will be difficult to refer to last year as last year).

I went ice skating for the very first time and I loved it. Admittedly I would of enjoyed it more if the skates where not one size two big (they didn't have size 11, only size 12 - actually I am a size 10, but they don't have half sizes and once you compensate for my wide feet and the thin skates, I am a 11). Plus I didn't have my kene braces, so I was properly a little to overly-cautious. Saying that I hope to do it again soon!

Well the fireworks on New Years Eve where pretty pathetic, so I guess at least in Utah, the only two big firework days are Independence Day on the 4th of July and Pioneer Day on the 24th of July. New Years Eve mustn't be anything special.

Then again I was up at Jill's house in the Upper Avenues overlooking the valley. It was fun to watch the fireworks go off, even if they where bad and the few crackers to go off in and around the neighbourhood (even though it is completely illegal to do it on the hillside in case of fires). But what was the cool thing was that Jill's house being high up on the hill overlooks the valley, right down to the mountains at the very end at 12000 South in Draper. And thus I could see lots of fireworks go off all over the Valley, I saw some go off in Sugarhouse, Murray, South Salt Lake and some places over on the westside. Heck I even saw little blobs of light on the edge of vision which must of been right down at the very end of the Valley around Sandy and Draper.

I think I offended Jill though since I refused to crash on her couch even though it would of been more logical for me to do so then go home. But ever since I met her son David and he... well didn't like me... I find it hard to just crash. The thing is Jill is just a good friend who I met through work. Yeah she is 53 with a kid (David) my age, but she acts like she is in her 20s. She is the coolest. Plus I sort of still owe her from when she took care of me during the summer when I had that dreadful case of food poisoning at the Jazz Festival (oh the bad memories of that night... first of all, even without the food poisoning which hit me during the Evening Jazz Concert, the fact was the music was BAD, not real jazz at all, but that world music crap).

I brought myself a new organiser which I have to say is seriously adult and mature. I love it. I needed a new one since my old one (not that I ever used it - it still had 1996/1997 inserts in it - I don't know what my Aunt and Uncle thought when they gave it to me when I was 16) was useless. As nice as the old orgainser was, its ring binder and holes where totally a different spacing that no inserts catered for.

The Organiser is brown leather (don't ask me why, but I totally dug the Brown - maybe I was a UPS driver in a past life) and totally cool in every way. I am still a little miffed that I had to fork over so much money for stupid insert refills (none of the orgainisers came with the day-a-page inserts, only week-a-page at best. To pay $20-$30 a refill is highway robbery!!!

I know I should really invest in a palm pilot and leave the Organiser to go the way of the dinosaurs, but while I wouldn't mind a palm pilot, I have to say there is something I just love about the smell of paper and leather and actually physically imprinting the tasks from pen to paper. I swear I can remember the event better if I actually handwrite it instead of typing it into some computer/palm pilot.

But I need an orgainser with the new work I have, my old brain couldn't keep up with my tasks anymore. I am really getting old... ode for the days of my lost youth...

But I am glad to be back at work. I am loving it. I am working on Event Planning and I am suprisingly really good at it. I never really done it before. I mean I may of helped out here and there for the odd event on the evening in question, but know producing an event from the very beginning and getting all the right people place and making sure it all goes right... it is so great!

And whats more this is the perfect stepping stone into what I really want to go into.

Well today was a lazy Saturday at home all things considered. I should of really down some jogging on the treadmill, but I really was not in the mood for it at all. Today and yesterday have been really robin's egg blue sky. It has been absolutely beautiful (even if it is still as cold as a nun's... errr.... refridgerator). Veiwing Antelope Island from my house of great. Seeing the white snow covered hills of Antelope island against the sky and the lake - no that there is much water in the lake, but hopefully the recent influx of snow can compensate for it). Snow is an amazing thing, making everything look so beautiful, even a ordinary ugly dirt hill like Antelope Island.

5 extra pounds, Buffy season 4, 3 sore limbs, 2 feet of snow and a snowboard in a pear tree

First of all I hate snowboarding. After yesterday I hate it with a passion. It is evil. It is not just evil. It is the Vanilla Coke of Evil. Whoever came up with the grand idea of strapping two feet together on a piece of over glorified plastic sould be tortured by having a pack of hungry chihuahua eat him.

Standing at top of a steep hill (which was the Bunny slope of all things) with both feet straped to the board and you are standing sideways is not funny. I could not balance myself and seriously had the worst time. I fell down, flipped over, flopped, twisted and shmeis myself. I am not battered, bruised and really stiff. Seriously my muscles are so stiff that I could bounce coins off them. At least bruising gives your visual comfirmation of your prediciment, but this stiffness and soreness is even worse.

Hell on earth. And it was Frozen Over to boot.

Hmmm... Ironic that hell is in Utah?

The thing is I am a good skiier, I enjoy skiing alot, but snowboarding just doesn't agree with me. I guess I need duel control. Left foot control and right foot control.

Never again.

Christmas was good though. I finished all my Christmas shopping on the 23rd by buying everybody multiple pairs of socks to go as little gifts with their main gifts. I think socks are grossly under-rated.

Christmas lunch was fabulous, it was nice to have seafood again. All one needs is to up the temperature to at least 25C/77F and it will start feeling like a real Christmas again. Snow outside at Christmas is just not right.

Though I did get rather carried away with the Christmas Spirit in the end. But who cares. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Christmas CD was a real good listen.

I did get to see "Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King" at the Gateway on Christmas Eve. I am in love all over again. If Éowyn came knocking at my front door... well I don't need to fill in the blanks. And I loved the score. I have to buy the score now. The score owns me. Especially the piece called "The White Tree" which was played over the lighting of the signals. (Now being a guard doing nothing but waiting for another signal on a distant mountain top to be lit just so you can light your on yet another distant mountain top must be the worst job in the world).

The fact is I never really understood when people raved about scores in the past. Heck I thought it was a bit fruity (get the reference and get my love). But now I understand! I have seen the light!

I have done nothing much but vege out for the past couple of days since Christmas, but I am going back into the rat-race tomorrow which I am actually looking forward to. Having time off is fun and all that, but one gets the itching to return to normality sooner or later. There are only so many VH1 specials on the various fallacies of Hollywood celebrities before you just bored.

The California trip was called off (again). I swear that enough plan is cursed. This time my sister couldn't get out of some volunteer work she had to do for some school project. Really. Those organisations should be happy to get volunteers and shouldn't dictate when they wanted you. (kidding naturally).